donutsornonuts:

We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.

I just hope that one day—preferably when we’re both blind drunk—we can talk about it.
grandma:you're 17? you're getting old aren't ya!
me:grandma you're like 80

budweiner:

When you get shouted at for accidentally doing something bad

image

spicy-vagina-tacos:

i need to get fucked by something other than my life

homosexauls:

the gays are growing more powerful than i could have imagined 

homosexauls:

the gays are growing more powerful than i could have imagined 

(Source: brazilshit)

grumpysalmon:

me in 3 words

grumpysalmon:

me in 3 words

(Source: billhitchert)

jeankd:

astudyinjade:

A dick with a future

A dick with a 401k plan and retirement benefits.

jeankd:

astudyinjade:

A dick with a future

A dick with a 401k plan and retirement benefits.

therealhamster:

anyone wanna make out… a check to me for 500,000 dollars